2018.05.26-2018.05.27

w/ Youth Hostel 

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It’s been forever. I imagined myself posting regularly in Korea, I guess not. But hey I’m alive and also went camping last weekend with my travel club; Youth Hostel. It was a nice breather outside Anam without my usual crowd.  And the river..(?) was so cold! Camped at the 힐링별밤수목원 캠핑장 in Namyangju, and it took 2 hours of public transportation to get there from Anam. It was real nice. I’m so glad I went.

School’s been pretty crazy with festivals and now it’s about to get crazy with finals. But honestly, I am such a mess regardless of what is going on in school. I am trying, trying to get my shit together. I want to live good in June. I want to think good and be good. Wrote ‘good’ 3 times in a row and now it doesn’t look like a real word. Anyway, bye! I hope I’ll be back soon.

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i’m eighteen and 열아홉살.

i moved from Kuching, Malaysia to Seoul, South Korea.

i’m starting uni.

i’ve only met new people since i’ve moved.

i am excited yet scared and find everything tiring.

everything is so new to me; the place, the experience.

at times, I just want to have a comfortable meal with someone i know.

i crave comfort so much. but things are fun.

i’ve always felt like an inbetweener but now i’ve felt that i fit in an even narrower slot.

i still have no clue about my future. i just want to be someone great.

i need to take care of myself. firmly.

clothes and dressing excite me more than ever. i think i really do like clothes. it’s really very fun.

i had my first experience of making friends (친구 먹기) with a 1999 friend. strange experience. Korea is definitely strange.

surprisingly, i want to fit in here.

i want to learn more languages. for real.

this year, i want to complain less; be aware of my blessings and i want to be firmer and clearer.

i want to be too busy to face any negative emotions of mine this year. terrible idea but that’s what i want to do.

i feel like it’s the worst way to face a new place and people but i really really want comfort. i want to feel comfortable. fuck “getting out of your comfort zone” bullshit. i want to feel comfortable.

i’m trying to believe i’m stronger than i think i am.

i wish myself good luck for this year. please take good care of me. i need you.

i’m eighteen.

 

cover17 months is a long time for a break without anything specific to do. So during one my many near-insanity moments of feeling restless, I made earrings! It all started because I saw this Rookie post and I was so into the dinosaur earrings. Boy, I was hooked. Took me a while to find dinosaurs of a suitable size but I finally did in Daiso in Korea for a 1000 won. I bought the basic d.i.y. earring materials like jump rings(?), hooks and stuff and made some others as well. Basically, I’m a huge noob at this whole d.i.y. earring business but well, I had my fun. 

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  1. The puff earrings were the first ones I made. They look the CUTEST but I’ve never worn them out because they look weirdly weird on my ears. They just look like they weren’t meant to be on ears. But the pom pom colours are so nice.
  2. I think the second one I made were the Christmas earrings. I think you can tell that it just looks like a noob made it. I mean, look at the crooked wire hahah. But I still thought they were really cute and I liked them a lot. Wore it to a Christmas party too! Oh, but my mum thought this pair was the ugliest. (shockingly)
  3. The paperclip penguin earrings are the most presentable ones and were also the easiest to make. I used to buy a lot of pretty stationery so I had a box filled with pretty tape, pretty pencils, pretty paperclips and pretty.. you get what I’m trying to say. So I simply hooked one of the paperclips I had onto a hook and wala~ it was done. Quite proud of this one, even though I barely did anything. It was actually white in colour but I gave it to a friend who wanted it a different colour, so I painted it mustard yellow.
  4. The dinosaurs! My favourites. My loves. I did succeed in making the dinosaur earrings I so badly wanted but I gave them to a friend so I couldn’t add them in the picture. The one in the Rookie post was triple dinosaur layers but my dinosaurs were too big for that… It’s just really fun and quirky and it was also pretty easy to make. 
  5. These fancy ones were obviously not DIY. They’re from H&M. They were Christmas gifts from a friend! It’s really long and gold and just super extra and fancy looking. I love them.  

I get over things pretty fast, so I think I’m over making earrings already. It was fun! Most of them are really much easier than you think so if you’re crazy bored, or just for whatever reason, hope you try them out! 

 

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Art of disruption

When they get their boxes smashed and their insulators dismantled until they had no other option but to imagine a totally new tomorrow.

It’s possible to die a sort of death at the other end of the spectrum.

Success, security, abundance can lead to boredom, a numbing predictability, a paralyzing indifference that comes from being too comfortable.

Art of honesty

Pain has a way of making us more honest.

To stop pretending and posing and acting, we have to suffer.

And then we suffer. There’s disruption, and our boxes get smashed and the insulators are removed and the pretense is shattered and the “empty place” inside of us open up.

ONLY IF YOU MEAN IT.

That’s what great artists do. This is what great people do. They ask it. They say it. They express it. They put in words what so many others are thinking and feeling and wondering.

But suffering, suffering unites.

Art of elimination

Removing clutter, excess, all the superfluous elements.

Mark Twain said that if he’d had more time, he would have less. Michaelangelo said that his David was in the stone clamouring to be freed.

Suffering. It compels us to eliminate the unnecessary, the trivial, the superficial.

There is greatness in you. Courage. Desire. Integrity. Virtue. Compassion. Dignity. Loyalty. Love. It’s in there – somewhere. It’s in there.

YOU CAN OWN SOMETHING AND NOT POSSESS IT. YOU CAN POSSESS SOMETHING AND NOT OWN IT.

Having nothing, yet possessing everything. When we suffer, we become open to the mercy and grace and gratitude and gift and appreciation and joy that are always around us all the time, even in a sandwich.

Art of failure

Because that’s where the spirit enters.

Opportunity to grow, expand, evolve, learn.

Tuned in to the thousands upon thousands of gifts we are surrounded with every single moment of every single day.

How? All the blood, sweat and tears have meaning. I reuse, reshape, recast all that goes wrong that in the end nothing is wasted and nothing is without significance and nothing ceases to be precious to me.

I shot 4 rolls of film in Vietnam. I’m not quite sure if that’s a lot or little for a week spent there! But it was my first time sending 4 rolls to the shop for developing, at the same time, so it was pretty exciting. And… also pretty expensive. Here goes a very picture heavy post. (I thought about separating places into different posts but then, then some would be too short so yeah)

Hanoi

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Cat Ba island – Lan Ha Bay

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Mui Ne

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Ho Chi Minh city

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Whew. That’s a lot to take in. I want to write another post on some of the details, sooo it’s just gonna be pictures here! (But I always end up failing to write a follow-up… ) Most of the photos I took in Ho Chi Minh was of my Airbnb that was super cute. You can get RM 105 off with this link !

Where to get film processed in Hanoi, Vietnam?

I googled that because I wanted to get a roll developed when I arrived in Hanoi. This excellent page answers it perfectly. Among the many film labs suggested, I visited Lab 36+ because it was the nearest to where I stayed. And I highly highly highly highly recommend it. The colours came out so! nice! I don’t know, it could have been that maybe my skills had improved and I had just taken better photos, but I doubt that. I think they just develop film very well….. I don’t know much about developing film and how much it can alter your photos but, the point here is that you should get your film process at Lab 36+. Oh, and guess what? It’s RM 6 to develop+scan 1 roll. … amazing???!??!??!? isn’t it. I paid RM 80 to get 4 rolls processed back here in Kuching… 또르르….

Anyway, I’ll be back REAL soon. I really hope I do. If I don’t write about Vietnam now, I will forget every detail and never write about it. So. Keep your eyes PEELED. Bye!