CNV000001Kim & Sheena packing sandwiches. We had like a production line. We slept over at sheen’s place to get all the food ready for sheen’s birthday picnic. Honestly we did really well. Long labour but we made a big bowl of pasta, turkey ham & cheese sandwiches, blueberry cheesecake and alcoholic punch. And literally everything tasted so good. It was actually pretty fun making them too.

CNV000002CNV000003CNV000004CNV000005CNV000006CNV000007You know what makes a good picture? Pretty friends. Initially wanted to have our picnic at the second beach at Permai, but the lady said no food was allowed in so we decided to move to Damai Central which ended up being a great idea.

CNV000008CNV000010CNV000011CNV000012 (1)CNV000013CNV000014CNV000015CNV000016CNV000017CNV000018CNV000019I moved! Light enters my new room more easily, which I love but it can get really hot. Oh and the sky view is so so much better. Sunset time is always beautiful. And look at that! Film is just always so much nicer with light. Photos are just generally nicer with nice light.

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Celebrated Julie & Becca’s birthday @ Sanga. Then moved to Zinc. Night filled with laughter. Always so .. nice to be with them. The last photo was actually supposed to be like… cooler.. hahaha, but after I told them to pose, the camera wouldn’t focus, so they got tired of posing, and then it worked. Lyd brought back my new film camera from KL! It’s completely manual so I have no idea how to use it, all the aperture, um ISO, stuff like that. So I have to practice, and hope I can take better photos! But like how to practice with film…. I don’t even know..

CNV000030A disco ball was ALWAYS on my wish list. Becca (T.) had it at her party, and I wanted it so badly. So so pretty. Look at the light!! I hope my dorm mate in uni would agree with me on changing our light to a disco ball. Honestly, if I do meet a dorm mate like that, I’d get along so well. I’m so scared and excited about uni life in Korea. It’s going to be so difficult & different & so fun.

CNV000031CNV000032Becca (T.) has a trampoline in her backyard (her house is huge), and we tried going on it and it was so fun. Jocelyn, PJ and I jumped till we all had to pee. It was a very cool night so it just felt great.

CNV000033CNV000034CNV000035Our new favourite place to go, Kim Joo. Lots of faves in this alley, there’s Speakeazy and Pincho as well.

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Now I’ll probably stay put at home and study for my trials and A2. I mean, I should.  I really I hope I will. PLEASE stay put. And like study. Please. And so many things to do after A2 is over! Can’t wait. Excluding uni app. I am looking forward to everything. I’ll get my license, go and take photos on the airport road with sheen. Visit KL with the 5 of us?? Go to rainfest! (for the first time!) Work & earn $$$$. Bring lyd to Bako!!  Get terrified of moving to Korea. Climb Mt. KK with some of my friends? (I really hope this works out) Family trip (probably, hopefully) before sang goes to army hahahahah. Spend time with friends before they leave. Ahh so many things to look forward to. How wonderful.

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so this is what stress is…. I feel it now. All these while when my skin got really bad near exams, my friends would say that it was because I was stressed but I was never really stressed about exams like I’d complain about it but never really felt stressed. So I just assumed that was stress. Lol, nope. This is stress.

I was digging through my endless dump of drafts that I never finish up on, and I found this! Just a few nights ago, we celebrated Julie’s birthday (& becca’s for this year) at Sanga, the Japanese restaurant, and it was the exact same people and I laughed so much just like last year. Honestly, it’s always so much fun with this bunch of people. Anyway, below is what I wrote last year, it’s unedited, not really finished, but whatever.  And there were many more photos but I don’t know where they are & I’m not really working very hard on this so it’s all right I guess.


March is one tough month for my wallet. Every year. I have 4 friends with birthdays in March, and my mum’s birthday is in March as well. I am someone who really enjoys picking out gifts for loved ones, and giving them. But my wallet doesn’t really enjoy it as much. It is the month where I try to restrain from ordering another Milo Peng Kao. Where I try not to think of ice cream in school. Where I try to pack lunch from home. Where I try to opt for the RM 5 Heng Hua mee than the RM 6 Heng Hua mee. I realise that my efforts are all related to cutting down money spent on food. That’s the truth about where students spend their money!! We don’t spend it on makeup or textbooks or shoes. They all leak to food.

We had a dinner to celebrate Julie’s 17th birthday on Friday night, and honestly whenever we meet up to celebrate a birthday, it just goes on like any other night. We don’t have the birthday girl on our mind every moment, or try to be nicer to the birthday girl (maybe a tiny bit more), we just talk and just generally have fun like any other night. We went to the Cosmos pizza place, where the 2nd floor had a wide glass wall with a really nice view of the sky. Then we moved to SUKHA and stayed there for a long time. I remember laughing  a lot there. And we parted at Secret Recipe where we got some cakes.

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It was a lovelier night because Lydia could join us and she was going back to KL for 3 months 2 days later. I’m really going to miss her.

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SUKHA has colouring pages and colour pencils for people to use freely if they want. And you can also stick them up on a board on the wall. The top photo is of the drawings me and Lydia drew of the rest on the back of the colouring page.


And it ended here.

The food at Sanga was really good. Or maybe we were all just really hungry, because we were. It was some parade day and there were these parades (sort of) going around and it was so so jammed. We were supposed to meet at 7 p.m. lmao, we all got together about 8.30 p.m.? Ate all the sushi I wanted to, and was a very happy girl. Even when I got home I reflected back on the food and just continued smiling. I even forgot about the picture of someone infected with flesh eating bacteria after eating raw fish, that I saw on Twitter and vowed to stop eating sushi. & other than the food, I just felt so good and happy. I don’t know, I feel this comfort when I’m with my IG people. And it gets a lot easier to feel anything. gah I loved them then. (not in past tense in any way negative) I’m so glad to have the friends I have. 

It takes very long for me to get comfortable with someone. And until I do, I really can’t open up very much. Opening up seems like the wrong phrase but I mean, I don’t really get personal, even with the people I am comfortable with. And by personal I mean, speaking of the thoughts I have. Because most of the times I just don’t feel the need to? Like I’ve already thought it, there isn’t any reason to speak it out. Unless I have to make a point or something like that. Like why would I suddenly blurt out what I’ve been thinking? Unless I am searching for validation, or advice e.t.c. ( which is rare) But I feel that, that makes it a lot harder for you to get okay with people. I have friends who ‘open up’ easily, and they get along very well with people. I don’t know, maybe it isn’t getting along that I’m looking for. I don’t know. I find the process of getting to know someone, somewhat tedious. Yes, it is interesting and exciting and fascinating to get to know someone new. But most times, I feel that they don’t live up to my expectations. Like I get excited because they seem very interesting, and I take the time to slowly but with effort, spill parts of myself so they’d get to know me as well. But after all that, they aren’t as interesting as I thought. I know, it’s not their fault, if there is a fault even, I guess it’d be me forming my own expectations of people I don’t know. But that’s not something I can help with. It’s not like I’m that interesting as well, but I can’t help just feeling like I found nothing. And that’s why it’s tedious. And repetitive. Because when I spill the parts of me to all these people, I repeat showing them the same person you know? (because surprise surprise I’m the same person?) and I end up having to do the same with the next person. Of course you don’t have to force yourself to show who you are, most times you just give off the kind of person you are. But there are things you do have to say, for example, the black middle part of a sunflower scares me very much & that I have very conflicting thoughts and they make me very tired & that I rarely care about what others think about me, but that I do sometimes, when you probably don’t. small things like this. And when I do want to tell people these small details, I almost feel like I’m following a script. Same details to different people. So repetitive. I imagine dating & having to say the same things, albeit it may be different feelings, terrifying.

It’s not that I don’t like making new friends. I do! And I am quite friendly at that. And I get along with people quite all right, I think it’s largely because I really don’t do that judgemental shit because to be frank, I don’t give a fuck and I don’t understand why some people do. But I feel like I cannot connect to someone on a deeper level. I feel like I only skim the surface of people. And that’s just really.. scary, and utterly boring. I don’t know (I aspire to write, say things, without having to say I don’t know after every thought). The reason I don’t like saying what I think on things that matter is because I barely know what I’m thinking and I’d hate to express myself wrongly and get people to think that I think in a certain way when I do not. I don’t care if you think my outfit sucks, or that I.. whatever but I can’t bare to think of someone misunderstanding my thoughts. And how can you say anything if you think like this! It’s so terrible, really. Poor line of thinking, sort of. I have to start expressing myself even though it may come off the wrong way to different people, and I’ve got to learn to not let that matter.

This makes me feel so vulnerable. Like wearing something very revealing. I don’t know. (eek, again!) I don’t know why I wrote this, I don’t know maybe someone feels this way too. Or just completely understanding what I wrote, like completely completely, and not understanding something in a way I did not mean, would feel so great. No need for sympathy you know, just empathy. Like you don’t have to relate to me but just to completely feel what I’m trying to say, would be… so cool. I’m so nervous to post this. fuck it.

 

some film from the first month of 2017,  featuring the best CNY I’ve ever spent in Kuching and my cousin (and brother, but he probably won’t appear here) coming back for their Winter break.

so the film camera I used to use broke in Korea 2 months ago, and I’m currently using an older and simpler camera my parents bought when they went on their honeymoon. it was quite surprising because I used the exact same film I used to use (god, is there another phrase for used to use) but the colours of the film came out so different! usually my film photos come out with really clear and striking colours but this time the colours came out very soft. so all my photos look very calming this time round. you can see the difference if you see last year’s cny post. not very sure if I like this better, but I sure don’t dislike it. enjoy.

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I feel like I didn’t really visit many houses this cny but it was honestly, really really fun. I think it’s partly due to the fact that I joined in on the gambling games this year! I never did till now.. and now I can’t unsee it. cny without the gambling? heck, no. also, in-between is the best game ever.

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course, we celebrated lunar new year the Korean way as well (eating rice cake soup!) but I didn’t get to 세배 to my parents. I’m far from a patriot but honestly I think Hanbok is the prettiest traditional clothing there is. the De Summit kids went knocking at every Korean door, collecting their $$. so cute though! and I met up with Idris and Hyerim for pasta (<3) and some cakes. short cake review here: the salted caramel cake was truly salty, the tiramisu felt soggy, and that berry cake was strangely nice! from Chinahouse.

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Honestly sometimes I look at the photos I take and think they’re really nice. But then I wonder, am  I just taking photos really well or is it just because my friends are really pretty. it’s a thought to think about okay! because, without any fluff, most of my friends are really pretty. seriously.

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Having your brother back isn’t really very special at all. But perks were: him being available to drive me 24/7, him not minding to cook if he’s hungry as well regardless of the time, 3 a.m. was fine too, having someone to share the mother’s anger (less for me! yay!), and that’s pretty much it. oh and nerf gun war. and my cousin and her belly… beats all my brother’s perks.

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the last photos look a little different. they weren’t edited at all. I think it’s because the film roll was really old. It was the one that was already inside the camera my parents bought really long ago. 1. playing Hally Gally with her everyday, and winning everyday. 2. at 101, she didn’t really seem to like the food at kopitiams at first but then she tried roti canai cheese (she doesn’t even like cheese) and asked for ‘cheese bread’ every damn day. 3. some scary cat @ someone’s house. 4. my sticker collection that I decided to give her. 5. she was getting really fat so we jokingly said that she shouldn’t be allowed to eat after 8 p.m. but she took that seriously and when dinner was a little late, she’d start getting really worried. it was so funny.

It’s been so long since I’ve posted something here! Actually wanted to write a post on my Korea trip last Nov-Dec but.. there’s a lot to talk about so I find it very hard to start. Anyway, hope you liked the photos! till next time, ciao. 

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Conditions to be met for a safe hitchhiking experience, with no organ black market involved:

  1. Wave at a huge family car, a Hilux would be nice.
  2. Wave at a huge family car, with a family inside.
  3. Wave at a huge family car, with a mother inside.
  4. Strip if you’re hot. (maybe not)
  5. Do not wave at small shady cars.
  6. Do not wave at small shady cars, filled with men.

-Discussed by Sul and me on the road to our starting point.

If you want to climb Mt. Santubong, it’s free and open to visitors every day if I’m not mistaken. You have to register at the registration point before you climb it, and you can park your car there as well. But there’s 2 openings you could start from, one being the registration point and the other about 10 minutes down the road from the registration point on foot. You can’t park your car there because it’s just next to a road. If you want to go to the waterfall, I think the registration point is a better starting point. And if you’re thinking of just climbing to the summit, the 2nd starting point would make a shorter trek.

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Way overdue K.K. post. Here it goes,

FIRST DAY

I wouldn’t trust what I say too much, I probably forgot half of the things we did, and the order of it all. I’m probably making all this up.

I actually tried to recall the order and stuff, and I actually did write a paragraph on what we did but I decided to leave that to like a more detailed day to day post? Something like that. (I can’t promise there’ll even be one hahahah) So this will be more like a photo log. Photo post? Ah whatever.

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Swimming in Sutera Harbour. I remember the first time I was in K.K. we ordered drinks here and I was so shocked at the prices of the drinks. That was really long ago. This trip was my third time in K.K. Also, I’m up for any pool that has a water slide. I really like water slides, except the fact that I have to climb up to slide down. Then we watched the sunset on the harbour. It had a really good view.

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I find that the photos I take of skies don’t usually come out nice on film. I’ve always been frustrated how the digital photos I take of skies don’t look like the skies I see for myself. When will I be able to take it like how it looks?! Can all the tech-y people work harder. Please, and thank you.

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The photo of the 3 of us was my first time using self-timer on my film camera. The colour of the photo looks a lot like one of the filters on the mac Photo Booth. I swear it wasn’t that. Though the macbook in the photo above strongly suggests otherwise hahahah, but really! And it’s like every time I see a mirror, I have to take a selfie. Crazy. That pose is embarrassing though.. Which is why I put it small. P.s. Sheena’s wearing shorts incase y’all start freaking out. Staying at a home, on a trip is the most comfortable thing ever. We watched ‘The Danish Girl’ in bed, it was the 2nd time I was watching it and I still think that Alicia Vikander acts really well. We watched ‘Edward Scissorhands’ as well! Finally got to watch it.  Who knew Johhny Depp could look so cute. I digress way too often.

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Here’s 3 touristy shots of us. There are these graffiti stacks in front of this mall of which I forgot the name of. You could probably google it if you want to visit it. I’m sure it’s just a google search away. It wasn’t that cool honestly, but it was pretty amusing. I’ve always thought that graffitis, using spray paint to paint was the hardest form of art. Maybe below sculpting? Like I’ve used spray paints before, during D.T. projects lol, and it’s like smelly and hard to use. Hahahaha, I just can’t imagine how they do it so well! Highly impressed all the time. The ones in town in Kuching are nice too! I like the big ones on the side of the buildings. The ones that look like artists were actually commissioned to do them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

SECOND DAY

The island day,

cnv0000032cnv0000033This was at the harbour where we waited for the ship, and booked our island activities. We went to Sapi Island. Thinking about it, wished we went to Manukkan as well. But Sapi was beautiful, so it’s all right I guess.cnv000002cnv000006cnv000003
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cnv0000011cnv0000012cnv0000035 We tried jet ski, the parachute looking thing, and flying fish. We snorkelled a little too. I hate how salty the sea water is. Wish the ocean was filled with fresh water. dhcnv0000037 Jet skiing was so fun. It was so fast. Like really really fast. Who knew I’d be enjoying speed. But it felt really nice to be so fast on the water. It took me awhile to be able to steer the handles properly though.cnv0000038

Shout out to Adelphi & Co. because their food was amazing. It was so amazing I thought about it for a week after I got back. But it was super pricey, so if it was in Kuching I could afford to go like once a month. If you ever happen to walk into the shop, try the hotcake, the lava cake was good but like way too expensive for a lava cake, this mutton soup thing oh my god I can’t remember the names. I’ll just post this like this then I’ll ask Sheena and I’ll come back to edit it. Another thing I ate that I loved was the Fook Yuen bread. It’s just simple kaya butter toast? But the bread is soo o ooo oo o soft. So soosososos soft. While the toasted part is very crunchy? The nicely toasted feeling. I don’t think crunchy is the right word but I can’t think of another word.

Dreary way back home. Actually, I don’t remember if I was sad to go back or if I was a little glad to go back home. When I look at the photos, they look really bleak and miserable so I feel like I might have been sad but Dong Ho’s so smiley and all so.. I don’t know. (Also, we stayed for 4 days, but I’ve only marked the 1st day and 2nd day. They are all jumbled up anyway so, just ignore it.)

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K.K. on film, end. Thanks for reading guys.

 

 

 

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These pictures are from 2015! I miss the IGCSE days.

I remember posting this on my previous site along with a paragraph on what I felt about black and white photos. But now, I think it’s too cringey to write it here because my friends will see it and I will cry because they are the biggest bitches ever. There was a period of time when I really liked b&w photos, really sharpened and slightly grainy. I still do like them but I personally have a stepping back response (거부 반응, y’know) when I see a b&w Instagram feed. Don’t think I like that one. Nothing against it though, it’s just not my thing. I like colours a lot. Colours are important to me.

I’m starting to realise that I have no idea what the purpose of this blog is. Sigh. Why can’t I have 1 thing in my life under control. >:-(  And I was supposed to write about the K.K trip!! It’s been months. Aiyo.