The Rainforest World Music Festival (often abbreviated as RWMF) is an annual three-day music festival celebrating the diversity of world music, held in Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia, with daytime music workshops, cultural displays, craft displays, food stalls, and main-stage evening concerts. (from wiki)

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  • no, it isn’t all just drinking
  • the music was really nice
  • you have to dance, and it’s crazy
  • your feet will hurt like hell but it’s worth it
  • tickets aren’t exactly cheap so you should buy the early bird tickets a few months prior the event, but it’s worth it
  • i stayed with 10 friends of mine in a room meant for 2 people
  • that wasn’t nice
  • you should really try to book a room way before if you don’t want that to happen
  • but it was so fun, really fun

Just wanted to say, I had so much fun and had a wonderful time at the festival with my friends. And that I will definitely go again. And that you should go.

p.s. to the friends I went with, thanks for such a great time !

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View from my veranda during sunset. It was raining as well.

This is the only photo that came out nice from my most recent roll of film. It was a little upsetting because it was the first roll I took with my manual film camera that I got off Carousell. Also, I was using Superia 400 for the first time instead of my usual Superia 200 (it’s like a few bucks more expensive). So I was really excited to see how the photos would develop. But half of the roll was exposed, and what was left wasn’t that great either. I was so bummed. But this one came out really nice. I think it captured the feeling, the warmness of a golden hour, with the wet tennis courts with the slight reflections (!!) really well. I graduated a few weeks ago and my friends are starting to leave Kuching permanently. I still have the rest of the year left here but I know I have to slowly say good bye to all my friends, and to Kuching as well. So I want to take loads of photos of Kuching, the places that we used to go, and of my friends. Leaving is so exciting and good byes are so sad. Everything feels nostalgic these days.

on a side note: film photography as a hobby is so fucking expensive. especially if you fuck up your roll like me this time round. i paid rm 26 for the roll, paid another rm 20 to develop and scan. got ONE photo. that photo up there was worth rm 46 fml. course, if you don’t fuck it up and take 36 perfect photos it’s all worth the money. seriously, the excitement and the butterflies i feel while i wait for my photos to be developed and scanned…. makes me realise this is what it means to do something you love. it’s just so fucking exciting to wait for your pictures. and i feel so so proud and happy when i take a good one. but doesn’t mean that i want it as a career though.  like i think it’ll be the perfect stress release(?) for my future stresses(?). idk i think i’m really lucky to have found something that i genuinely enjoy that can be completely disconnected with whatever i study/work. i feel like it’ll play a very big role in keeping me alive. 

1. paint your nails. simply just paint it. because it’s such a relief to be doing something that requires no thought process, i really like simple labour as a form of relaxation. i love not having to think and doing something. like cutting out paper for decoration, or colouring in something with one colour, just anything repetitive and simple. maybe i was born for the factory. born for the production line lmao. just fyi, i used to be really into painting nails before i started my a levels. now i have zero interest or desire to paint it

2. the web:

  • instagram– go through your feed, go through your feed and smile at your old photos, look through the instagrams of celebrities you never cared about, look through the instagrams of all the brands you like, look through instagrams of people you used to know, look through funny instagrams and scroll down their entire feed until you reach the point where you last did this
  •  youtube– this is the worst place. you can spend a range of 5 mins to 4 hours here
  • tumblr- scroll through and queue all the beautiful photos and funny text posts until you get sick of how tumblr everything is
  • pinterest– usually forget about the existence of this website, but when i don’t, make like 5 more boards you’ll never fill, title it something that you think is cute but find stupid the next time you come back
  • 123movies.to– so much choice here, take your pick
  • google search– you can surprise yourself with how much time you can spend here

3. clear out your phone gallery! amazing place to spend quality time with your memories while deleting the ones you don’t need. especially the whatsapp gallery. there’s also a feeling of satisfaction when you delete huge chunks of photos. it’s almost cathartic, really.

4. take care of your stationeries- sharpen every pencil you own, check on all the pens on whether they have ink, and if they don’t, throw them away (also another source of satisfaction), refill all your mechanical pencils with 3 leads each and .. if you have the materials and the time, label all your stationeries with your name

5. write meaningless blogposts like these

6. if you have reached that point where you have removed all devices of distraction e.g. phones, laptops, ipads, and you are sitting in a place of no distractions, simply think. nothing can stop your thoughts. you can spend lots of time just thinking & imagining. basically if you have reached this point where you find yourself not having done anything and found that you have just been staring into space thinking of other useless (or maybe important, depends) things, you’re fucked. because you have no way to stop that. boo hoo.

7. deciding what to listen to while studying! it’s always too loud or too soft or too much edm or ‘i don’t relate to these lyrics’. just never right, until it is right. to be frank, if your exam is tomorrow, and you are battling this out, i suggest you not listen to music at all. (i am trying to be a good friend)

8. try to get your life together in a cute notebook. plan for the future with details…….. such as writing things down like, ‘marry rich guy at 32!’, ‘own a chow chow, a jaguar, a flamingo, a bear, a panda, a cheetah, a sloth, a platypus when i grow up’, ‘get rich!’, ‘buy maserati’, ‘see an exploding volcano’. y’know, just some realistic details of how you want to live your life. it’s time you get your shit together.

9. i’ve wasted too much time writing this. i have a chemistry p4 exam in 2 days. i really hate myself sometimes. fml. okay, if you’re reading this, and have an exam in the coming 3 days, i gently urge you to go back to studying. i will attempt to do so too. good bye. thanks for reading this. much love. please comment. i like comments. but no one comments except my hoe.

CNV000001Kim & Sheena packing sandwiches. We had like a production line. We slept over at sheen’s place to get all the food ready for sheen’s birthday picnic. Honestly we did really well. Long labour but we made a big bowl of pasta, turkey ham & cheese sandwiches, blueberry cheesecake and alcoholic punch. And literally everything tasted so good. It was actually pretty fun making them too.

CNV000002CNV000003CNV000004CNV000005CNV000006CNV000007You know what makes a good picture? Pretty friends. Initially wanted to have our picnic at the second beach at Permai, but the lady said no food was allowed in so we decided to move to Damai Central which ended up being a great idea.

CNV000008CNV000010CNV000011CNV000012 (1)CNV000013CNV000014CNV000015CNV000016CNV000017CNV000018CNV000019I moved! Light enters my new room more easily, which I love but it can get really hot. Oh and the sky view is so so much better. Sunset time is always beautiful. And look at that! Film is just always so much nicer with light. Photos are just generally nicer with nice light.

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Celebrated Julie & Becca’s birthday @ Sanga. Then moved to Zinc. Night filled with laughter. Always so .. nice to be with them. The last photo was actually supposed to be like… cooler.. hahaha, but after I told them to pose, the camera wouldn’t focus, so they got tired of posing, and then it worked. Lyd brought back my new film camera from KL! It’s completely manual so I have no idea how to use it, all the aperture, um ISO, stuff like that. So I have to practice, and hope I can take better photos! But like how to practice with film…. I don’t even know..

CNV000030A disco ball was ALWAYS on my wish list. Becca (T.) had it at her party, and I wanted it so badly. So so pretty. Look at the light!! I hope my dorm mate in uni would agree with me on changing our light to a disco ball. Honestly, if I do meet a dorm mate like that, I’d get along so well. I’m so scared and excited about uni life in Korea. It’s going to be so difficult & different & so fun.

CNV000031CNV000032Becca (T.) has a trampoline in her backyard (her house is huge), and we tried going on it and it was so fun. Jocelyn, PJ and I jumped till we all had to pee. It was a very cool night so it just felt great.

CNV000033CNV000034CNV000035Our new favourite place to go, Kim Joo. Lots of faves in this alley, there’s Speakeazy and Pincho as well.

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Now I’ll probably stay put at home and study for my trials and A2. I mean, I should.  I really I hope I will. PLEASE stay put. And like study. Please. And so many things to do after A2 is over! Can’t wait. Excluding uni app. I am looking forward to everything. I’ll get my license, go and take photos on the airport road with sheen. Visit KL with the 5 of us?? Go to rainfest! (for the first time!) Work & earn $$$$. Bring lyd to Bako!!  Get terrified of moving to Korea. Climb Mt. KK with some of my friends? (I really hope this works out) Family trip (probably, hopefully) before sang goes to army hahahahah. Spend time with friends before they leave. Ahh so many things to look forward to. How wonderful.

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so this is what stress is…. I feel it now. All these while when my skin got really bad near exams, my friends would say that it was because I was stressed but I was never really stressed about exams like I’d complain about it but never really felt stressed. So I just assumed that was stress. Lol, nope. This is stress.

I was digging through my endless dump of drafts that I never finish up on, and I found this! Just a few nights ago, we celebrated Julie’s birthday (& becca’s for this year) at Sanga, the Japanese restaurant, and it was the exact same people and I laughed so much just like last year. Honestly, it’s always so much fun with this bunch of people. Anyway, below is what I wrote last year, it’s unedited, not really finished, but whatever.  And there were many more photos but I don’t know where they are & I’m not really working very hard on this so it’s all right I guess.


March is one tough month for my wallet. Every year. I have 4 friends with birthdays in March, and my mum’s birthday is in March as well. I am someone who really enjoys picking out gifts for loved ones, and giving them. But my wallet doesn’t really enjoy it as much. It is the month where I try to restrain from ordering another Milo Peng Kao. Where I try not to think of ice cream in school. Where I try to pack lunch from home. Where I try to opt for the RM 5 Heng Hua mee than the RM 6 Heng Hua mee. I realise that my efforts are all related to cutting down money spent on food. That’s the truth about where students spend their money!! We don’t spend it on makeup or textbooks or shoes. They all leak to food.

We had a dinner to celebrate Julie’s 17th birthday on Friday night, and honestly whenever we meet up to celebrate a birthday, it just goes on like any other night. We don’t have the birthday girl on our mind every moment, or try to be nicer to the birthday girl (maybe a tiny bit more), we just talk and just generally have fun like any other night. We went to the Cosmos pizza place, where the 2nd floor had a wide glass wall with a really nice view of the sky. Then we moved to SUKHA and stayed there for a long time. I remember laughing  a lot there. And we parted at Secret Recipe where we got some cakes.

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It was a lovelier night because Lydia could join us and she was going back to KL for 3 months 2 days later. I’m really going to miss her.

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SUKHA has colouring pages and colour pencils for people to use freely if they want. And you can also stick them up on a board on the wall. The top photo is of the drawings me and Lydia drew of the rest on the back of the colouring page.


And it ended here.

The food at Sanga was really good. Or maybe we were all just really hungry, because we were. It was some parade day and there were these parades (sort of) going around and it was so so jammed. We were supposed to meet at 7 p.m. lmao, we all got together about 8.30 p.m.? Ate all the sushi I wanted to, and was a very happy girl. Even when I got home I reflected back on the food and just continued smiling. I even forgot about the picture of someone infected with flesh eating bacteria after eating raw fish, that I saw on Twitter and vowed to stop eating sushi. & other than the food, I just felt so good and happy. I don’t know, I feel this comfort when I’m with my IG people. And it gets a lot easier to feel anything. gah I loved them then. (not in past tense in any way negative) I’m so glad to have the friends I have. 

It takes very long for me to get comfortable with someone. And until I do, I really can’t open up very much. Opening up seems like the wrong phrase but I mean, I don’t really get personal, even with the people I am comfortable with. And by personal I mean, speaking of the thoughts I have. Because most of the times I just don’t feel the need to? Like I’ve already thought it, there isn’t any reason to speak it out. Unless I have to make a point or something like that. Like why would I suddenly blurt out what I’ve been thinking? Unless I am searching for validation, or advice e.t.c. ( which is rare) But I feel that, that makes it a lot harder for you to get okay with people. I have friends who ‘open up’ easily, and they get along very well with people. I don’t know, maybe it isn’t getting along that I’m looking for. I don’t know. I find the process of getting to know someone, somewhat tedious. Yes, it is interesting and exciting and fascinating to get to know someone new. But most times, I feel that they don’t live up to my expectations. Like I get excited because they seem very interesting, and I take the time to slowly but with effort, spill parts of myself so they’d get to know me as well. But after all that, they aren’t as interesting as I thought. I know, it’s not their fault, if there is a fault even, I guess it’d be me forming my own expectations of people I don’t know. But that’s not something I can help with. It’s not like I’m that interesting as well, but I can’t help just feeling like I found nothing. And that’s why it’s tedious. And repetitive. Because when I spill the parts of me to all these people, I repeat showing them the same person you know? (because surprise surprise I’m the same person?) and I end up having to do the same with the next person. Of course you don’t have to force yourself to show who you are, most times you just give off the kind of person you are. But there are things you do have to say, for example, the black middle part of a sunflower scares me very much & that I have very conflicting thoughts and they make me very tired & that I rarely care about what others think about me, but that I do sometimes, when you probably don’t. small things like this. And when I do want to tell people these small details, I almost feel like I’m following a script. Same details to different people. So repetitive. I imagine dating & having to say the same things, albeit it may be different feelings, terrifying.

It’s not that I don’t like making new friends. I do! And I am quite friendly at that. And I get along with people quite all right, I think it’s largely because I really don’t do that judgemental shit because to be frank, I don’t give a fuck and I don’t understand why some people do. But I feel like I cannot connect to someone on a deeper level. I feel like I only skim the surface of people. And that’s just really.. scary, and utterly boring. I don’t know (I aspire to write, say things, without having to say I don’t know after every thought). The reason I don’t like saying what I think on things that matter is because I barely know what I’m thinking and I’d hate to express myself wrongly and get people to think that I think in a certain way when I do not. I don’t care if you think my outfit sucks, or that I.. whatever but I can’t bare to think of someone misunderstanding my thoughts. And how can you say anything if you think like this! It’s so terrible, really. Poor line of thinking, sort of. I have to start expressing myself even though it may come off the wrong way to different people, and I’ve got to learn to not let that matter.

This makes me feel so vulnerable. Like wearing something very revealing. I don’t know. (eek, again!) I don’t know why I wrote this, I don’t know maybe someone feels this way too. Or just completely understanding what I wrote, like completely completely, and not understanding something in a way I did not mean, would feel so great. No need for sympathy you know, just empathy. Like you don’t have to relate to me but just to completely feel what I’m trying to say, would be… so cool. I’m so nervous to post this. fuck it.

 

some film from the first month of 2017,  featuring the best CNY I’ve ever spent in Kuching and my cousin (and brother, but he probably won’t appear here) coming back for their Winter break.

so the film camera I used to use broke in Korea 2 months ago, and I’m currently using an older and simpler camera my parents bought when they went on their honeymoon. it was quite surprising because I used the exact same film I used to use (god, is there another phrase for used to use) but the colours of the film came out so different! usually my film photos come out with really clear and striking colours but this time the colours came out very soft. so all my photos look very calming this time round. you can see the difference if you see last year’s cny post. not very sure if I like this better, but I sure don’t dislike it. enjoy.

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I feel like I didn’t really visit many houses this cny but it was honestly, really really fun. I think it’s partly due to the fact that I joined in on the gambling games this year! I never did till now.. and now I can’t unsee it. cny without the gambling? heck, no. also, in-between is the best game ever.

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course, we celebrated lunar new year the Korean way as well (eating rice cake soup!) but I didn’t get to 세배 to my parents. I’m far from a patriot but honestly I think Hanbok is the prettiest traditional clothing there is. the De Summit kids went knocking at every Korean door, collecting their $$. so cute though! and I met up with Idris and Hyerim for pasta (<3) and some cakes. short cake review here: the salted caramel cake was truly salty, the tiramisu felt soggy, and that berry cake was strangely nice! from Chinahouse.

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Honestly sometimes I look at the photos I take and think they’re really nice. But then I wonder, am  I just taking photos really well or is it just because my friends are really pretty. it’s a thought to think about okay! because, without any fluff, most of my friends are really pretty. seriously.

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coco

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Having your brother back isn’t really very special at all. But perks were: him being available to drive me 24/7, him not minding to cook if he’s hungry as well regardless of the time, 3 a.m. was fine too, having someone to share the mother’s anger (less for me! yay!), and that’s pretty much it. oh and nerf gun war. and my cousin and her belly… beats all my brother’s perks.

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the last photos look a little different. they weren’t edited at all. I think it’s because the film roll was really old. It was the one that was already inside the camera my parents bought really long ago. 1. playing Hally Gally with her everyday, and winning everyday. 2. at 101, she didn’t really seem to like the food at kopitiams at first but then she tried roti canai cheese (she doesn’t even like cheese) and asked for ‘cheese bread’ every damn day. 3. some scary cat @ someone’s house. 4. my sticker collection that I decided to give her. 5. she was getting really fat so we jokingly said that she shouldn’t be allowed to eat after 8 p.m. but she took that seriously and when dinner was a little late, she’d start getting really worried. it was so funny.

It’s been so long since I’ve posted something here! Actually wanted to write a post on my Korea trip last Nov-Dec but.. there’s a lot to talk about so I find it very hard to start. Anyway, hope you liked the photos! till next time, ciao.